Sarah
'And let not your adornment be merely external - braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear'
1 Peter 3:3-6
We know many things about Sarah from the Old Testament. Firstly we know she was a very attractive woman externally. She was the kind of woman that turned heads and grabbed peoples attention. A beauty some people would have called her. But what I have always admired about her would be her struggle with infertility. Although I know what it is to long for a child, I do not know what it is to struggle with infertility. What heartache that woman must have felt as she saw children be born and grow up around her and yet not to have one of her own to cherish and nurture. I can't begin to imagine what she would have felt when she discovered that she was pregnant at the grand age of 90... Joy, excitement, fear? She was no spring chicken and the risks in bearing a child at her age would have been high. We are told now that the age of 35 and over brings increased risks in today's modern society but 90 is quite unimaginable for me. Yet she had faith, she submitted herself to God's will and she subdued and ruled over her fears. Wayne Grudem says this of Sarah;
"Quiet confidence in God produces in a woman the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, but it also enables her to submit to her husband's authority without fear that it will ultimately be harmful to her well being our her personhood."
Maybe you remember Sarah for her beauty, or maybe her involvement in arranging Abraham to father a child to Hagar or maybe you remember her most for laughing when Abraham was told she was to have his baby. This is how I have been tempted to remember her but I am thankful for the reminder that Sarah was also a woman who sought to subdue and rule over her fears.
Zelophehad's Daughters
Now these are a group of women who would have had courage, something I often think I could do with more.
"Then the daughters of Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of Manasseh the son of Joseph, came near; and these are the name of his daughters: Mahlah, Noah, and Hoglah and Milcah and Tirzah. And they stood before Moses and before Eleazar the priest and before the leaders and all the congregation, at the doorway of the tent of meeting, saying, " our father died in the wilderness, yet he was not among the company of those who gathered themselves together against the LORD in the company of Korah; but he died in his own sin, and he had no sons. Why should the name of our father be withdrawn from among his family because he had no son? Give us a possession among our father's brothers""
Numbers 27:1-4
Now I don't know about you but I try to avoid confrontation at all costs, even if it means me missing out on something or being unfairly treated. I cower and hide rather than stand firm and address an issue. But these five daughters saw the unjustness of the situation. With no sons their father's estate was to be wiped out and the daughters left with nothing. What would I have done? Honestly, probably would have hid and let the estate be wiped out. But I need to learn from these courageous women to seek to stand up for what is right and fair. We as women do not need to be passive doormats but need to step forward courageously in the name of truth and justice.
Deborah
Would it be true to say that sometimes men do not fulfil their roles, they may even be described at times as being passive and inattentive. There was a time where the nation of Israel had forgotten about God and all He had done and sought to please themselves and do what they wanted. God's law was not upheld and it got to the point that God appointed Deborah as one of the judges of Israel. What a rebuke to the men to see a female leader taking on the responsibility that should have been mans. Sometimes as women we need to step up to the plate as it were to be the decisive figure in our families. God's word is to be put first and kept and if we find ourselves in a situation where we need to take control then we can do so. When I was heavily pregnant with my first child I wanted our yard in our previous house cleaning. The floor was covered in slippery green moss and not only did it look atrocious but it was really slippery. Seeing as our first child was soon to be born I thought it would be helpful to clear this yard of the ghastly moss (I believe I was having hallucinations of perfect domestic bliss looking back as I was completely crazy and OCD with the house). So there I was about to have a baby with a little broom in hand and soapy water brushing with all my might trying to get the floor clean. I spent a good few hours working hard until Mr Faithful returned and was rather shocked to see his dishevelled wife attacking the yard. Now it wasn't the most urgent of jobs in the house but it was something that I had been hoping for Mr Faithful would do. Once he saw me in a rather distraught state he took hold of the broom and attacked the yard for me. Although I had to make the first move he was ready to take my place when he learned of how I felt about the yard (like I said I was crazy). But in this small way it showed me that our actions can often shame men or motivate them into acting and stop them sitting back and taking a more passive role. I must add that Mr Faithful soon returned to that yard with reinforcements with a powerful jet wash but alas that green moss soon made it's return.
Ruth
Ruth was a Moabite, she was a widow and living in a foreign land with her mother-in-law. She could easily have been overpowered by self-pity and insecurities. She had to take on the role as provider and sought to glean grain during the harvest and was further encouraged by her mother-in-law to seek a husband in Boaz. She was no wall flower waiting for prince charming to come and find her. She had the option of returning to Moab but she said "Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God" Ruth 1:16 Ruth was bold enough to follow her convictions and left Moab behind to be with Naomi and look after her. God rewarded Ruth with Boaz and she was to be the great grandmother of King David. Mr Faithful's advice to any single Christian man or woman looking for a spouse is to serve God faithfully first, pursue God's kingdom, serve His church and if God wills He will bless you. There have been times in my life where I have let my fears and insecurities prevent me from doing something that I really should have done. I don't like failing and I definitely do not like disappointing people when I do. However I often tell my sons that we should at least try...try run the race, it doesn't matter if you loose, it's taking part and doing your best that counts...try put the jigsaw together, it doesn't matter if you get stuck, I will help...try and fold the laundry, it doesn't matter if it's not exactly like mummy because I appreciate your help. As women of dominion we should not let our fears and insecurities rule us as they will prevent us from fulfilling our roles and could take away blesssings that could have been available to our family and church.
Abigail
"Now the man's name was Nabal, and his wife's name was Abigail. And the woman was intelligent and beautiful appearance"
1 Samuel 25:3
" And she arose and bowed with her face to the ground and said, "Behold, your maidservant is a maid to wash the feet of my lord's servant"
1 Samuel 25:41
Abigail was a woman who was intelligent, beautiful and had a servant's heart. Yet she was a woman who was brave and decisive. Abigail was married to a drunk and she was put in positions at times where she would have to make amends for her husband's outbursts and neglect. Abigail indeed saved her household from death and calmed David's anger through her swift and prompt actions. Not long after the events recorded in the Bible Nabal died and David took Abigail for a wife. My heart grieves for women who find themselves unequally yoked in marriage where they find that there is a continuous battle between submission and standing firm for the truth of scripture. I feel blessed that I am in a marriage where my husband loves the Lord and when I do feel that his actions may be imprudent or rash then I do feel that I can talk to him about my concerns and he will hear my voice. It doesn't mean I am always right but we do have that opportunity to talk things through and see if anything unbiblical would be committed through a course of action. In a marriage where the husband is not a christian then this kind of communication often can not take place. I pray that these women will have the discerning heart of Abigail who knew when it was time to act against her husband's wishes for the good of the family. Abigail still showed respect and was humble, not brash or boastful and she was blessed for her actions.
The Excellent Wife of Proverbs
Whenever I have read the excellent wife of proverbs 31 my heart sinks as I think I would never be able to be this kind of woman. This is a woman who knows how to rule her household. She is productive and we can certainly say she is not idle. She manages the finances well and provides food for her household as well as clothes. Her children bless her and her husband trusts her. The stand out verse for me is this...
"She does good and not evil to him (husband) all the days of her life"
Proverbs 31:12
Each and every day as a wife my actions should be for the benefit of my husband. I am to do him good all the days of my life...what a calling indeed. In my own strength I know I can not do this as I am sinful, but I have a God who says I can call on Him for help. Remember the spirit of Ruth to not let fears and insecurities prevent us from seeking to fulfil our God given roles? I may not feel I will be able to be this excellent wife but I am going to take my own advice to my children...try. I may fail, but God forgives and I have tried, I may get stuck but God will help, I may not be perfect but my husband will appreciate my effort.
I will end today with the quote from Derek Kidner about the role of the proverbs 31 woman...
"Here is scope for formiddable powers and great achievements."
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