MasterChef in the home

A new series of MasterChef is on our TVs. 3 weeks have gone by and contestants are being wittled down. There have been some talented people creating food that sounds and looks tantalising. There have also been creations that looked far from appetising. All the contestants take things very seriously and undoubtedly put a lot of effort in to their cooking. I have always liked watching food programmes and I do get inspired to try out new techniques and food in my kitchen. In my mind though I always get fantastic reviews from my family and they adore my food. In reality it's a mixed bag. 

My biggest disaster in the kitchen was a tomato tarte tatin...never again. I must also point out at this point that I have a gluten-free diet so bread and pastry based dishes are temperamental and most of the time I try to aim for the high goal of the food being edible! So why do I hear you say did I attempt a tomato tarte tatin (which is basically tomatoes in pastry). Well because it looked good in my recipe book. Unfortunately it did not look good on my plate and it tasted even worse. It was a soggy inedible mess and my poor downcast boys and husband just stared at me with pitiful eyes probably thinking I had completely lost the plot and yearning for a take away. I did not make them eat it and I let them have free reign to rummage through the fridge to come up with a more pleasing alternative.

Thankfully I don't have many disasters that cause my family to be running to the phone to order in a take away, in fact we rarely have a take out. I may not please all my boys with the same meal in one evening but over the course of a week they are all satisfied with what comes out of my kitchen. I do find it difficult pleasing everyone, I have a pasta lover and a pasta hater, a potato lover and a potato hater, a vegetable lover and a vegetable hater, a spice lover and a spice hater and for one member of the family it is the end of the world when I serve anything with butternut squash or sweet potato. 

Recently though I have been feeling completely uninspired in the kitchen and I find it amazing that food does end up on the plate at the end of the day. So I am trying to be re-infused with enthusiasm for creating delicious food for my family and gleaning tips and ideas from MasterChef. What have I learnt so far? Don't put holes in your ravioli (like I have time to make my own pasta), no one likes a scrambled egg custard, and people will always try to make a chocolate fondant even when everyone knows that they can go terribly wrong. In summary I have come away from this evening still looking for that inspiration and enthusiasm to get back into the kitchen.

In fact I have just grumbled my way through making Mr Faithful's breakfast bars (that only take 5 minutes to put together and then the oven does the rest of the work) because I just did not want to be in the kitchen any longer. I get days like this but I know it will be OK. I will get that motivation back but in the meantime I will keep asking God to give me patience and a serving heart and a better attitude. The truth is my family needs me. Mr Faithful won't mind me saying that he is not blessed when it comes to cooking. My family need to be fed and nourished and we do love spending time together around the dinner table. So I will continue to menu plan, food shop and cook and bake. It may not be MasterChef standard and I'm grateful that the food ends up on the plate at all rather than on the floor (yes that has happened on more than one occasion). I'll reserve high accolade for my food to the dream world and aim just to please my family for it's them that matter. In any case my boys will probably just pull faces if I ever try to serve them dishes like chicken, foie, quince ravioli or a salad of dandelion, poached quail's egg with a walnut vinaigrette.

Now the Great British Bake Off...that's another dream altogether....

A Hairy Mistake

It's been a long tiring day. Mr Smiley is at an age where shall we just say he is very curious and inquisitive. It's hard work and I can't take my eyes off him for a second. We all know however it is impossible to be attached to a child every second of the day particularly when you have other littlies needing your attention. Mr Smiley put me through my paces today with his antics and ultimately my plan for the day just didn't happen. Because I was tidying up after the children anyway I thought I would try and be extra productive with this change to my plan and re-organise the boys home school possessions so as to make them more accessible.What a good idea I said to myself...mmmm...the truth was it probably was a good idea but for a different day for quite quickly I was surrounded in chaos. There were builders wanting drinks, child number 2 needing assistance in the bathroom, phone ringing, books everywhere, pretend money scattered among the books, pencils and crayons strewn across the floor and a baby tipping a box of plastic eggs over his head. At that moment I was torn between crying and being relieved that the eggs were plastic. Some big deep breaths and a baby being distracted with food and I managed to claw the situation back under control.

Unfortunately it had left me quite frazzled. Dinner was late and then I burnt it by trying to see to all the chores at once, my poor husband thankfully didn't comment on this, either he was being incredibly nice or his taste buds were faulty today. Even with these mounting disasters I still thought it would be a good idea to at least try and achieve one of my goals for the day and that was to cut Mr Cheeky's hair.

He has lovely soft hair, quite fine compared to his older brother's hair which still leaves me speechless and looking for the industrial scissors to shear off his mane. I have never wished to take my clippers to Mr Cheeky's hair as I didn't think such short hair would suit him so I have always used scissors. But tonight the little lad was tired, I was tired and the clippers were inviting. The little lad tearfully asked me to use the clippers in the hope that it would speed up this tortuous event. With clippers in hand I started working my way around his head, using it's longest setting, nearly done, just the front to do and then it happened. I had accidentally knocked the guard to grade 2 and took a strip off Mr Cheeky's gorgeous hair. My heart was in my mouth. I still feel guilty now. The poor boy had then to sit longer as I then had to try and blend the mistake into his hair by taking everything short. I think I have managed to get away with doing a grade 4 cut all over rather than a 2 but it is still much shorter than I would have liked and it has confirmed that I should always use scissors with his hair. He is happy however and still gorgeous, and thankfully his hair will grow back.

What have I learned? Plenty. Always check the comb grade setting on the clippers, never cut the boys' hair in the evening, don't try giving myself extra tasks when looking after an inquisitive baby, children are exceptionally forgiving of our mistakes, some things can wait and would be better achieved on another day.

I am tired, Mr Smiley is curled in my lap, a gentle reminder that even these tired days will be but a memory soon enough as he will grow. I think I will just cuddle him a little bit more before I make my weary way to bed.

Mothers at Home Matter...or so they should.

I read a timely article tonight about a not-for-profit campaigning organisation called Mothers at Home Matter and how on Mothering Sunday a group of ladies went to 10 Downing Street with a mothers day card as a reminder to the politicians that they were over looking a vital part of our society. You can read a little more about it here.

I thought it apt considering the recent post I made about Womanly Dominion and the lies that women believe. Our current British government do not value the stay at home parent and their undervalued view of this role in society only compounds the idea that to be a stay at home mum is a demeaning, unfulfilling and inadequate role. Maybe if the government starts to value mothers in the home then it would give more women the confidence to stay at home and look after their own children, husbands and house rather than farm out these tasks to other people at the same time paying most of their wages out on said care which is secondary compared to that care that the true mother of the family can give.

So what can we do? Pray first and foremost. Pray for the leaders, pray for a voice, pray for change. Secondly maybe we could write to our local MPs and fight for a right to be heard. If you are reading this from other countries rather than in sunny England (she says laughing as it pours down outside) then don't just discard this post as something not applicable to you but think about how your government treats stay at home mums. My guess is that it is much the same and your country needs a voice too.

Womanly Dominion - Chapter 3 - Deceitfully Assaulted

'Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?"'

Genesis 3:1

Have you ever wondered why the serpent went to Eve and not Adam? Have you ever heard of women being described as weaker vessels? Does the fact that it was the woman who fell into transgression first make you feel that we are inferior in any way, not strong enough to resist temptation?

The weaker vessel analogy comes from 1 Peter 3:7 in which it says 'Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.'

Does the weaker vessel analogy mean that as women we have a constitutional sensitivity whereby we feel deeper and have stronger emotions or is it referring to our positional vulnerability as a subordinated gender. In any case it is clear that the devil likes to take pleasure in whispering in our ears and telling us lies. Satan does not want us to obey God's mandate to us, for the women who do follow God's plan for their lives are of great threat to the devil.

Lie number 1...You're a genetic victim

It is all too easy to blame our genetic make-up these days. My house is a mess and I can't multi-task but I can't help it, it's in my genes. I can't control my children, I just can't be authoritative but I can't help it, it's in my genes. My hormones are going crazy (it often happens once a month) so I am tetchy and impatient with my family but I can't help it, it's in my genes. These are genuine things some women say and believe.

Lie number 2...You're a circumstantial victim

Ever been tempted to blame your circumstances for your actions? My house is far too small and there is no where to keep all my possessions so that's why it looks messy. I never had a motherly figure in my life to teach me how to be one so that's why I leave my children to run riot. I can't get up on time in the morning because I was never shown how to. Ever heard any of these?

Lie number 3...You're a marital victim

What about blaming your husband for why you don't fulfil the role as his helpmeet? My husband does not encourage me or say nice things about my cooking so why should I bother. My husband doesn't help with the household chores so why should I do it all. How can I submit to my husband when he is insensitive to my needs? I have to have a husband to be happy. Yes this is sounding familiar!

Lie number 4...You're a maternal victim

Why should I waste my life on wiping snotty noses? I am a highly educated woman so why can I not pursue my own ambitions, kids will be fine in day care and my husband can run the house for a bit. I'm not cut out for motherhood, there's just too much to do, I'm not maternal enough. Yes these are the lies that some women believe.

The devil is trying to lure us away from our God given roles. But we need to protect ourselves from these lies. We must remember that whether we are young or old, whether married or unmarried, whether we are mothers or not the devil is in our ears hissing and whispering these lies to us. So how can we defend ourselves. Well grab those bibles and read dear women. Fill our hearts and minds with truth from the scripture so that we are prepared for the devil's attack.

Scripture says this:

'But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus'

Philippians 3:13-14

'She does him (her husband) good and not evil all the days of her life'

Proverbs 31:12

'I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am...And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus'

Philippians 4:11, 19

We need to forget what has gone before, the lies, the disappoint, that which holds us from claiming our role to subdue and rule on this earth with conviction. We must look to our households and see what good we can do and not seek to tear it down. Let us be women who are trusted by our husbands and the children have a reason to rise up and bless their mothers. And if you are going through a season where you feel there is no purpose in what you do, or you are tired with the persistent call of duties in the home, or if you feel alone and neglected, take heart dear woman, God sees and God knows, do as Paul did and learn to be content even in these circumstances and the promise of scripture will prove true for you, that God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Womanly Dominion - Chapter 2 - Theologically Unpacked

'And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. And God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds if the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth"'
Genesis 1:27

Woman and not just man was created in the image of God. God chose to leave imprints of himself on the earth. My children love it when it snows. The crisp white ground beckoning temptingly to them as they desire nothing more to be the first person out on the unspoilt ground. Hats on, gloves on, numerous layers of clothing on and then finally the boots. Out they run and the ground is no longer flat but has pattern after pattern of little children's boot prints streaming across the ground. For a time the ground bears the impression of where the children have walked. God left His impression upon the earth and unlike the snow which melts and fades away His impression remains here today with the earth filled with men and women created in His image. God intended that we would view a mirror reflection of God's character. In so doing this God has said to us to imitate Him. God has ultimate dominion over the earth and we are to have dominion over the areas of our lives that are before us.

'Whatever your hand finds to do, verily, do it with all your might; for there is no activity or planning or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol where you are going'

Ecclesiastes 9:10

God tells us to get out there and do it with all our might.

A second arm to the creation mandate is that of bearing children. We are commanded to be fruitful and to bear children is our obligation. Just as plants have different manifestations of fruitfulness like large clusters of grapes or two ears produced by a cornstalk we too have different kinds of fruitfulness. Fruitfulness will vary from family to family and womb to womb. Mark Chanski asks the question 'What is the mightiest strategy for influencing the world unto God glorifying good?'. He believes bearing and nurturing God-fearing offspring is the answer...the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world! What do you think? Does the role of women seem inconsequential now?

But, some women say, staying at home and letting my husband be the breadwinner makes me unequal to him. Wrong says God for he made us, man and woman, to both be fellow heirs. In Christ we are all one. Go check out 1 Peter 3:5-6 if you don't believe me. Whilst we have been made equal we have also been made diverse. We should celebrate this diversity and not seek to cover it up and make males more female or females more male. We should put a stop to the neutralising of our gender and celebrate women as being women created unique by our heavenly Father and celebrate men for being men again created unique by our heavenly Father. Man is designed to be the head and leader and the woman is designed to be follower and helper. Back to our football imagery we have been given our positions, we need to play our positions and we need to do so with a win it mentality.

God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit each have their own rules although equal in the God head and we should look to this as an example to us. Stop listening to the lies of the world about how women can have it all, be the breadwinner, be the man. God has gifted women in beautiful ways to be the helpmeets, to be the child-nurturers and He wants us to play our positions.

Womanly Dominion Chapter 1 - Fundamentally Explained

Mark Chanski takes us right back to the beginning of the Bible and those early chapters of Genesis and looks at the mandate given to mankind.

'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'

Genesis 1:28

God spoke to mankind, not just the man but the woman too, male and female He created them, and He told us to be subduers and rulers. We are not to be passive people and watch the world pass us by. We should not let our environment rule over us, sit back and let obstacles stand in our way but rather we should get out there and put our all into the roles we have been assigned for and all for the glory of God.

Mark Chanski talks about us having a 'win it' mentality. What challenges are before you? Is there an educational opportunity in front of you that you are unsure about because you don't want to fail? Are you in the midst of exams and the pressure is mounting and becoming unbearable to the point you want to give in? Are you in the wrong kind of romantic relationship that you know it would be best to end but you just don't want to spend another Christmas or birthday alone? Is your household in disarray and chaos and you just don't know where to start? Are you tired and despondent of disciplining children? Go out and 'win it' to the glory of God! We are to run the race of life with endurance. There are going to be days when we feel the fatigue of battle but by the grace of God we are to put on a positive mentality and put are all in to ruling and subduing the challenges that face us daily.

Mark Chanski's other mantra that jumps from these early pages is 'play your position'! (Can you tell he is a man that likes his sports yet?) Remember God has created us female...not male. We live in a world where strong feminist movements have changed how the world sees a female role in society. We may feel pressure to pursue careers outside of the home and try and be women who do it all, have careers, have a family, run a household, be the best wife and mother, as well as serving others in the community. I don't know about you but what kind of woman could possibly achieve all that? A burnt out exhausted one I expect. As a homemaker, stay at home mum, housewife or other similar title you would like to give, I often hear the voice of the world telling me that I am wasting my life and my gifts. What have I done with my promising sporting ability? What have I done with the law degree I attained? Why do I waste my academic mind on mundane tasks like laundry and vacuuming? Why is it that insurance companies downgrade you on life insurance policies because you are a homemaker? Have you heard women say this...'oh I am just a housewife'! If you do hear anyone say this please tell them how valued they are, we don't hear it much but it is nice to hear someone affirm that being a wife and mother at home is important.

When a woman is called to play her position God is not downgrading us or making us less important. We were made to be suitable helpers. So don't be afraid to be different from men. We are meant to be different.

Play your position and win it!

Mothers Day and Birthdays

Yesterday the boys celebrated me being their mum but I feel more like it's a celebration of being a mum and having 3 amazing children to guide and nurture, train and admonish, and raise in the light of God's word. I feel blessed to be their mother.

They surprised me in the morning with a lovely card and a necklace and earring set and some perfume and lots of little kisses.

Mothers Day may bring a mixture of feelings for many women. Thankfulness and joy and yet sorrow and sadness. Some of us have mothers to rejoice in and some grieve for the mothers they have lost. Some of us have children to feel grateful for and some of us grieve for the children that we do not have or have lost. I myself mourn for 2 babies that only ever knew my womb for a short time and my heart still yearns to watch them grow, to love and cuddle them, to cherish them here on earth. But that is not what God planned for me. I have friends who have struggled with infertility, who are not yet married and would dearly love children and some who have walked the valleys of grief when having children die. I have friends who have distant relationships with their own mothers and some who have had mothers die. Mothers Day is not always full of rejoicing but often a time of remembrance. 

I remember there was one person in history who never had a mother...Eve, the mother of all. Eve often has a bad reputation, after all she did take and eat of the fruit of the tree that was forbidden to her. She gave in to temptation and listened to that voice that tempts all of us away from obedience to God. And she is the reason why women scream for epidurals, pethidine and gas and air (although that last one is pretty good stuff). Eve never had a mother. When banished from the Garden of Eden and bearing her own children she never had a mother to guide her and offer help. She never had someone to ask for advice when the kids had a temperature or were teething or just couldn't settle. She also had to bury her own son and not just that she had to bear the heartache of knowing that it was her first born son that had killed her precious boy. Oh what sorrow this mother must have felt.

So let us just remember those who we miss and those who grieve on Mothers Day as well as celebrating Mothers everywhere for all their genuine hard work.

"What is a Mother?"

A mother is someone to shelter and guide us,
To love us, whatever we do,
With a warm understanding and infinite patience,
And wonderful gentleness, too.

How often a mother means swift reassurance
In soothing our small, childish fears,
How tenderly mothers watch over their children
And treasure them all through the years.

The hearth of a mother is full of forgiveness
For any mistake, big or small,
And generous always in helping her family
Whose needs she has placed above all.

A mother can utter a word of compassion
And make all our cares fall away,
She can brighten a home with the sound of her laughter
And make life delightful and gay.

A mother possesses incredible wisdom
And wonderful insight and skill-
In each human heart is that one special corner
Which only a mother can fill!

 Author: Katherine Nelson Davis

Maybe you know someone who this poem describes and yet she does not have a child of her own...maybe you can let her know just how much she is loved too.

I had an extra reason this Mothers Day to feel blessed and that was in the form of a little ball of cuteness that is Mr Smiley. Mr Smiley turned 1 yesterday. One whole year ago I gave birth to a little boy who was to fill my life with even more joy. We had a lovely day celebrating with his grandparents as well. There was birthday cake, train sets, wrapping paper, backpacks, wrapping paper, wooden cars, wrapping paper, clothes, wrapping paper, bath toys and oh did i mention...wrapping paper. My little treasure won't remember his 1st birthday and really he wasn't interested in his new toys that his family so kindly bought for him, and yes he was more interested in the wrapping paper but how could we not celebrate when God has been good to us. Thank you Lord for this precious gift of our son from You. May You guide him in his life and may He grow to love You and serve You.

When you are old you can have a dog!

Kids say the funniest things! We all know that, also the most embarrassing things too. What parent hasn't had a moment where their child has said something that has caused you to want the ground to swallow you up.

I remember taking Mr Social to a doctors appointment when he was 2 only for him to joyfully announce that 'Daddy hits Mummy'. He turned round and grinned at me and I felt in that moment like he was saying 'try and get out of that Mummy'. Well of course the doctor would not have been doing her job correctly had she not followed up on the alarming statement. So there proceeded a number of questions as the doctor ascertained what kind of domestic violence occurred in this house. I must have been the colour of beetroot. I quickly realised that what my 2 year old had witnessed was my husband giving my derrière an affectionate tap as I was doing the washing up the evening before. This image had obviously stuck in my young son's mind and he was filled with a burning desire to tell anybody he met the following day. Thankfully the doctor was able to laugh at the misunderstanding and I came away more than embarrassed.

Since then there has been less bottom tapping and more affectionate back rubs and kisses, we felt this came across much better to strangers and my son could understand this more, after all we give him lots of kisses.

Mr Social and Mr Cheeky delight us with some wonderful one liners. We are constantly amused by what they say and how their mind works.

Tonight Mr Social was contemplating life when he and his brothers were grown up and married and no longer at home. Apparently at that point I should get a dog! Yes to ease my aching heart after all my children have left home I should replace them with a dog. Now I am not the biggest animal lover in the world. My current philosophy is why should I give myself extra work to do by having a pet when not necessary. If any pet was to make me change my mind a dog may just do it although recently the idea of chickens is quite appealing but that's another story.

It got me thinking though, what will life be like when my children are grown and gone. Right now it is hard to imagine but I hope when my time comes and I am rattling about my house that I could rattle around for God's glory. Maybe I could be of use to the church? Maybe I could be of use to young mums just starting out? Maybe I could be fostering? Maybe I could be working in the community? Only God knows the path my life will take and so I put my trust in Him.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths...Proverbs 3:5-6

Whatever the future I am glad I am not there yet. I don't want to wish away these years of motherhood. Each moment I treasure, each memory I make, I want to enjoy these days and make a difference in my children's lives now.

Womanly Dominion

Womanly Dominion (more than a gentle and quiet spirit) by Mark Chanski is a book I recently came across. It was first published in 2008, a year after I was married and oh how I wish I had come across it sooner.

The blurb on the cover of the book says this,

""Play your position" is a call we may hear a coach yell at a soccer or football game. The meaning is: "Do what you have been assigned to do, and do it well!" Many Christian women have been told over the years that they must quietly stay under their parasols while their men go out and conquer the world.

But is this what the Bible really teaches? Author and pastor Mark Chanski insists that the Bible tells us a different story. He insists that the Bible teaches a woman to take dominion of her God-assigned role as wife, mother and church helper. No, not in a feminist way, but in a God-glorifying way that speaks volumes about who she is and why God created her.

Women should not think of themselves as victims, says the author, but as victors who conquer the realm that their Lord and Master Jesus Christ has given them. This book will forever change the way you look at Christian womanhood".

This 13 chapter book takes us through the biblical mandate given to women, looks at biblical examples of women in the Old and New Testament and then goes on to specifically discuss areas of a woman's life such as motherhood, marital life, church roles and roles within the public sphere.

I have read the first 4 chapters and have enjoyed it so far. The author has taken great care to make sure the Bible is put first and as far as I can see God's word is dealt with carefully, thoroughly and truthfully. I only hope the rest of the book is as good. Over the course of the next few weeks I will bring to you some of the things I have learned and do a chapter overview for all 13 chapters in the hope that my readers can benefit from the book too.

New photos

Check out my latest albums that are showing down the side of this blog. It's still quite rough around the edges and needs a bit of work but I thought I would start sharing some of the crafts that I offer and would like to make into a business one day. My main skill area are the handmade cards and crafts, although I do offer a digital invitation/flyer service as well as dabbling in the world of cake making. The cakes I have made have all been for family members at their request and I'm learning new skills every time I make one. The digital invites have all been for my local church which are then sent to a local printers for professional printing.